ForgetfulnessI often forget where I have kept my daughter’s books after preparing her homework. At the onset of this winter, I just couldn’t find her school scarf with her winter clothes and had to buy her a new one.

My husband is so exasperated at my habit that he doesn’t let me lay my hands on anything that he might need in future. He keeps everything from clothes to documents to memorabilia to tit-bits in his own cupboard!!

And the best part is, many times I can’t remember if I have brushed my teeth or not. Though that is probably the easiest – I brush again to be sure I don’t go without it for the day. But it’s embarrassing if someone says, weren’t you brushing your teeth half an hour ago?

So am I forgetful or absentminded? Is it a medical problem or something quite mundane? One day I just got tired with it all and decided to find out more about them so that I could deal with them.

Understanding Forgetfulness and Absentmindedness

First of all, I Googled both the words to find their definitions and this is what I came up with:

Forgetfulness – lapse of memory

Absentminded – lost in thought and unaware of one’s surroundings or actions; preoccupied

On more research, I found some of the causes of forgetfulness to be listed as:

  • Old age
  • Lack of sleep
  • Medication
  • Health conditions like depression, underactive thyroid, etc.
  • Alcohol
  • Multitasking

And some causes of absentminded behavior were listed to be:

  • Lack of attention
  • Distraction due to unwarranted thoughts
  • Intense attention to only one thing

I was happy to know that forgetfulness in young adults is usually attributed to lack of time management and overwork.

Is Self-Talk the Culprit

I ruled out medical conditions. Multitasking or time management did seem plausible. After much introspection I realized that my absentminded can be attributed to continuous self-talk. I carry on conversations with in my mind. All the time. For example, if I am cooking something I am not sure my daughter will like, I start having a conversation with her in my mind.

Conversations with Myself

Conversations with Myself

Me: Here, see what a delicious pasta I have made for you.

Daughter: But mummy, you know I don’t like capsicum and carrot and onions.

Me: These are good for your health. Besides, how do you expect the pasta to taste as good as it does without the veggies.

And it goes on and on…till my mind finds a new conversation. I don’t just talk to myself but feel the emotions too. I get elated or saddened by talking to myself.

 

I get so caught up in my monologues that I miss out on what is actually going on around me.

My brother used to call me deaf when we were in school. He would say that I feigned absentmindedness to escape doing little chores!!

Handling Forgetful Behavior

After realizing the probable cause for my woes I have started paying more attention to my surroundings. Besides that, here are some more steps I have taken for the time being:

  • Avoiding doing too many things at the same time
  • Meditation for 10-15 minutes in the morning
  • Using time management tools and techniques

I hope to get some results soon. But I am not too hopeful about remembering where I kept things some time back. If you have some helpful tips for me, do share.